Worn Out?

​​

​​

How did time pass by so fast? 
It seems like just last week I was putting up Ramadan decorations and whining about giving up my morning coffee for a whole month! 

Another year flew by, hasn’t it?  Taking with it unkept promises and shattered pieces of hopes and unfulfilled dreams.. 
And now here we are, trying once again to pick up the remains to form a faithful heart…

That’s the thing about Ramadan….
Its serenity is almost palpable. You can’t help but believe in the power of new beginnings….

Listening to lectures is one of my favorite traditions during the Holy month. This time I came across a series named ‘Rameem’ which translates into ‘decayed’ or ‘worn out’ and well.. I won’t bore you with the details on why , but I felt like it spoke to me directly. And me being me, what do I do? Ofcourse I come and gossip about it with you guys!

We’re still on the first episode, which talks about how we’re all partially broken in one way or the other, and how, in order to end our suffering, we need to rebuild the damage and become whole again. Now I have two voices inside me speaking at once; one of them is my emotionally involved side (let’s mute that one) and the other is the wise psychologist who understands that in order to rebuild yourself you have to  ‘rewire’ your brain. That’s basically why I come here sometimes to share information I learnt from scholars, therapists and coaches. Healing your trauma or childhood wounds is all about ‘memory reconsolidation’ which are just fancy words for healing your memories through emotional learning.

Confused? Okay let me give you an example.

As a little child, perhaps you were not your parents’ favorite offspring, and so you felt emotionally neglected or even abandoned, which created this deeply rooted fear, because back then you completely depended on your parents for survival; they’re all you had. So instead of seeing them as being the problem (which was even more terrifying) you chose the lesser of two evils and blamed yourself. Since memory is a combination of intense feelings paired with sense making, everytime your parents disregarded you, a new lesson was learnt and encoded in your mind.
‘They don’t care about me because I’m not lovable’
‘They don’t acknowledge me because I’m not good enough’,
‘If I show my true emotions I’ll be rejected or even punished..’
‘If I tell the truth, I’ll get in trouble..’
‘If I get too close to someone, they’ll hurt me or leave..’   

It’s unfortunate, yet true. Your stored past memories define and form over 90% of your present reality, making you and people you love pay the price for crimes they didn’t commit. That’s where insecurities and fears dwell, latching onto your future and impeding your healing. The lecture I referred to earlier discusses this journey we call ‘life’, and how we’re meant to face trials that will either help us rebuild the damages within us or destroy us completely. Allah (SWT) says:

“And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient” (Holy Qur’an 2:155)

Fear can either urge you to develop the heroic trait of courage or break you down to avoid living a full life, leaving you isolated and doubtful of yourself and others.

Hunger can either push you to work harder and make things happen, or cause you to lose faith in your Creator and take what’s not rightfully yours.

A loss of wealth can either compel you to plan, learn, and manage your expenses or can drown you in greediness, aggression and envy.

A loss of loved ones to death or breakups will strengthen your attachment to Allah, the eternal source of love and compassion, or leave you broken, lonely, dimmed out and scared of getting hurt again.

A loss of fruits of labor can help you reach a new level of serenity, contentment and trust in God or make you doubt His support and fairness. 

Yet no one talks about the aftermath of these trials, and how they threaten to shatter one or more of the four pillars that keep us steady:

Our self worth,
Our faith in Allah (SWT),
Our value systems
and how we manage our close relationships.  

Emotionally unavailable parents, betrayal or failing in an important task are amongst many things that can tarnish our self image and make us feel like we’re not enough.

Delayed responses to our expectations can make us doubt Allah’s love and support, and sadly sometimes even His very existence.

Difficult choices, temptations and unfairness can compromise our sacred values.

And as for our relationships, where we once vowed to be loving, giving, caring and forgiving, someone comes along and breaks our hearts… breaks our trust… or even worse, breaks our confidence in the power of love, kindness and connection, and then nothing is ever the same anymore…

There’s a hidden test in every trial, one that entails preserving the goodness of your heart; being strong and soft at the same time.  Your perception of the world and of your abilities can either make you or break you. Right now you have a choice of becoming one of the four following people….

1- The Oblivious:
Being unaware of your childhood wounds will make it impossible for you to work on yourself. You’ll remain suffering and make others suffer with you, yet ignorant to the cause of the problem.

2- The Denier:
Some of us deny we have flaws and would rather blame others for our misfortunes. The deniers are extremely defensive, believing they’ve reached ‘perfection’ and it’s others who need to mend their ways.

3-The Observer:
This is when you’re fully aware of how broken you are, but feel helpless on healing your wounds. 

4- The Doer:
No matter who caused the damage, and no matter whether it was a childhood trauma or a recent ordeal, a doer takes full responsibility for fixing what others broke inside him or her. Running away or standing still is not an option for this one. Doers are real life heroes. They know that ‘nothing changes if nothing changes’… 

And yes, I know it’s easier said than done, and most of us wouldn’t even know where to start. Contrary to what some of you might think, I don’t live in a parallel world where everything is bubbly and pink. I’ve had my share of heartache and I’ve had to rebuild unspoken of damages that literally tore me down mentally, emotionally and physically. Sometimes we’re faced with pain so grave all we could do is cry and scream for it to stop. 

Sometimes… Even the silent inner struggles leave behind too much debris and decay that seem impossible to restore…

And sometimes.. We never know how truly damaged another person is until we try to love them..

All the four pillars are worn out; our self image, our faith, our values and our abilities to seek connection with loved ones. And we wonder if we’ll ever be okay again. We wonder if anything can bring life to our lives…

But Allah Almighty says…

“And they argue with Us- forgetting they were created- saying “Who will give life to decayed bones?”
Say O’ Prophet “They will be revived by the One who produced them the first time, for He has perfect knowledge of every created being.” (Holy Quran, 36: 78-79)

He’s the Reviver…
When you’re hurting, your pain is not in vain…

It’s there for a reason…
For perhaps when you’re worn out and you fall apart
You’ll realize you can put the pieces back together the way you always wanted them to be…

The secret is to stop fighting the old and start building the new…
You were given this life because you’re strong enough to live it

So take care of this beautiful heart of yours and don’t allow it to harden…
Even when worn out, keep trusting that Allah does what’s best and keep putting out good…
It will come back to you multiplied…

That I promise…

Lilly S. Mohsen 

Day 30: 30 Good Deeds In Ramadan

 

DAY THIRTY: Happy Eiddddddddddddddddddddd

 

 

Ahhhhhhhhh Ramadan passed by so quickly
We hardly even felt any tiredness
Look at us….

 

 

(Loooool someone sent me this meme and it made me laugh so much I just had to share it.)

 

 

I hope you guys are out shopping for new outfits and lots of presents for your kids.
And planning outings, gatherings, surprises, fun activities and the whole shebang!
Go all out, you’ve earned it.

It’s such a beautiful time to get our kids excited about Ramadan, and a great opportunity to boost their Islamic identity even more.

 

So we’re done?
That’s it?
I’m going home?

Awwwwhhhhhhh

 

I’m really gonna miss you guys!
I’m gonna miss our late night chats…..
You’ve all become a huge part of my life and now I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you….

 

Well, until I figure it out let me say…

Eid Fitr Mubarak…

Wishing you all the AWESOMEST Eid ever!

 

 

 

All my love to you and all your loved ones…

Lilly S. Mohsen

Day 29: 30 Good Deeds In Ramadan

 

DAY TWENTY-NINE: Zakat Al Fitr (Eid Charity)

 

Ramadan is coming to an end….
Wait a minute, so does that mean in a day or two, we’ll drink coffee in the morning, no problem?

We’ll have breakfast instead of ‘break-our-fast’

For real??
Oh my God! Did you guys ever try the Eggs Benedict on a muffin topped with smoked salmon? Served with cherry tomatoes and roasted potatoes on the side? Oh yummmm

And fresh pineapple juice…
And grilled cheese sandwiches
Frittatas, bagels and Pita bread with white cheese and olive oil

Red velvet pancakes and Nutella waffles

And our Egyptian Feteer (layered pastry)

And all the other mouth watering foods we love so much
I would like to thank all the items on the food menu for bringing so much joy to our family gatherings, so much love to our hearts and for making our taste buds alive with amazing flavors.
We have missed you so much!
And even though we’ve had our differences before since some of you make us gain weight, we’d like you to know that on days like Eid, you’re completely forgiven because it’s totally 100% worth it. And I promise we’ll try our best not to take you for granted again.

Give it up to all our favorite foods! Let’s have one more round of applause loool.

 
You know, at the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) ‘Zakat Al Fitr’ (Ordained charity given at the end of Ramadan) used to be one saa’ of food, or one saa’ of dates, or one saa’ of barley, or one saa’ of raisins. (Bukhari and Muslim)
Given your drooling reactions to the breakfast menu I listed a few seconds ago, it kind of makes sense to give out food to the poor and needy at the end of Ramadan, no?
Yes, you. Did you have a question?

 

What’s a Saa’?

Well, it’s an ancient measuring unit equivalent to about 3 liters

 

Can I give any other type of food? Or even money?

Of course you can give other types of food depending on availability and quality.
Giving food is the ‘sunnah’ and it is the most correct form of charity in this case, but many ‘modern-time’ scholars have agreed that Zakat Al Fitr can also be given out in money and ‘Allah knows best’ (I’ve always wanted to say that but never had a chance! Thank you loool)

 

On whose behalf should a man (or woman) pay Zakat Al Fitr?

Zakaat al-fitr must be given on behalf of all Muslims under your care, young and old, male and female, free and slave. With regard to a fetus, it is not obligatory to give it on his/her behalf according to scholarly consensus, but it would be nice of you to do so, since ‘Uthman Ibn Afan (may Allah be pleased with him) did that.

When should Zakat Al Fitr be given?

Like right  NOW loool!

It’s essential to give the charity before Eid so people would have time to make good use of it.
You don’t have to finish reading this post if you haven’t given out your zakat yet. Go do it like right now please.
(Final deadline? Morning of the first day of Eid, but you better have like a REALLY good excuse!)

 

Who is eligible for Zakat Al Fitr?

1. The poor
2. The needy,
3. Collectors of Zakah,
4. Reconciliation of hearts (new reverts or people this close to embracing Islam)
5. Freeing captives / slaves
6. Debtors
7. Those fighting for a religious cause or a cause of Allah
8. The traveler.

 

Why do we pay Zakat Al Fitr anyway?

It’s a blessing for us if you’d like to know.
In the past month, there’s no doubt we’ve slipped a couple of times. A little gossiping here, a semi-curse word there.
Rolling your eyes at someone here, and raising your voice during an argument there.
Sheeeshhh some ugly memories are flashing before me loool.

Zakat Al Fitr serves as an eraser. It purifies those who fast in Ramadan from those little sins we hardly notice or can’t control.

 

And oh don’t we all need to be accepted and forgiven…?
Don’t we all need to be heard and loved…?

My dear Greatest Lord…
You’re the One who knows what’s inside our hearts…
and You know we have nothing to purify our souls with…
We own nothing..
Please my Lord…
Don’t believe our moments of despair or anger..
Please don’t believe our arrogance or selfishness..
It’s not who we are..
So please forgive us when we slip..
and love us despite the ugliness and resistance You see from us…

We don’t have anyone else to run to..
We really don’t..

We don’t know anyone who’ll accept us with all our flaws and imperfections and still give us limitless chances..
And still forgive, care and shower us with blessings
No one but You..

My Lord…
Can I ask You a question…?
Have You accepted us…?
Are You proud of us…?
Is there anything we can do or say to gain Your love and pleasure?

Allah…?
Are You happy with us this Ramadan?

I’m begging You…
Don’t let the month go by until You have loved and accepted us…
Until You’ve looked at us with a smile…
Until You’ve made a place for us in the Highest Levels of Jannah, where we get to see Your face…
Amen

 

All my love,

Lilly S. Mohsen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 28: 30 Good Deeds In Ramadan

 

DAY TWENTY-EIGHT: Take Us With You

 

Soooooooooo

About last night….
(Enunciation at its best, mind you loool)

 

Actually you know what, let’s not talk about last night coz that will probably take up all day
and bring so many emotions back to the surface
And then you’ll cry
and when you cry I cry

And I wouldn’t be able to tell you about your choices for the good deed of the day.

 

Oh my God, you guys!! Who would have thought we’d still have options by Day 28? I was running out of ideas and energy I honestly didn’t think I’d make it to Day 12!

(None of my friends and family did either loool)
Anyways, so let’s talk options.
Level One:

You should have seen the huge difference at the mosque.
Last night it was FULLY packed.
And tonight
well,
Meh..

 

Maybe those same people are praying at home, only Allah knows.
And there are a number of Hadiths discouraging women from praying outside her house. I’m aware of that, too.
And perhaps people get busy or sick or I dunno
I’m just worried that….
Sometimes, the minute we get what we want, we kind of move on and don’t look back.
Like they say, ‘You see a person’s true colors when you are no longer beneficial to their life’

 

I wouldn’t dare compare the greatest Lord to that (God forbid)
Allah is always beneficial to us. That’s not what I mean. It’s only a metaphor!
(Okay I feel I’m treading on dangerous territory so please understand and forgive me if I start acting up loool)

 

All I’m trying to say is, please….

Even if you’re 100% sure Laylat Al Qadr was last night
Even if tonight isn’t an odd night
And even if you’re tired, busy or just downright drained…

Make sure you’re polite with Allah…
Make sure you thank Him for letting you reach this far…
Make sure you show up when others drop and disappear

Only the genuine hearts will keep the worship alive tonight…

 

Level Two:
Unfortunately, some of the people we know, have missed out on the beauty, serenity and submission in this blessed month.
They wasted their nights socializing and staring at the TV till their eyeballs fell out and bounced on the ground like YoYo’s loool

 

This is your chance to give them a glimpse of guidance.
Ramadan isn’t over yet. There’s still time
So drag one of those friends or family members with you to prayers tonight (I don’t mean literally drag them but if they refuse and go into zombie mode, then yeah drag them no problem loool)

 

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “If Allah guides only one person through you, it will be better for you than all that the sun has risen or set over”

 
OOOOORRRRRRR

Since Ramadan is almost over
You can do both 😉

 

What do you mean you don’t remember both deeds?
Continuous fasting is taking its toll, isn’t it? Loool

Muslims are true heroes I swear to Allah!
You know science has proven the health benefits of fasting over and over
But hardly anyone does it. Perhaps many non-Muslims don’t have the discipline for it but we do.
Because we do it for Allah, and Allah alone…
 

All my love,

Lilly S. Mohsen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 27: 30 Good Deeds In Ramadan

DAY TWENTY-SEVEN: Is Tonight The Night?

 

No don’t worry, my biological clock isn’t that messed up yet loool
I’m meaning to post this a bit earlier than usual today coz this one is a deed of the heart, and who knows, perhaps tonight is ‘Laylat Al Qadr’ (The Night Of Power).
If it is, you’ll be so happy you read this today, I think you’ll be making cartwheels in Jannah loool

 

A little bit about Laylat Al Qadr?

Okay sure…

 

You know, centuries ago, people lived up to a 1000 years. I remember reading a story about a man who died in his 500s and his mom stood over his grave crying hysterically because he ‘died young’ looool (I know it’s not funny but I’m sorry it kind of is)

When that mother heard about the likes of us, whose averages lifespans is 80 years, her jaws dropped and she said ‘Why would they even come to the world? There’s no time to do anything”

 

“The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, was shown the lifespans of the people (who had gone) before him, or what Allah willed of that, and it was as if the lives of the people of his community had become too short for them to be able to do as many good actions as others before them had been able to do with their long lives, so Allah gave him Laylat al- Qadr, which is better than a thousand months.” (https://sunnah.com/urn/407130)

 

The word ‘Qadr’ has multiple meanings, ones of which are:
Decree:
The night of great ‘decision-making’ by Allah, entailing mercy and love from Him to His slaves.
Honor:
The most honorable of angels (Jibreel) came with the most honorable of books (Qur’an) to give to the most honorable of messengers (Mohammad) on the most honored month (Ramadan).

Power:
Allah endowed this night with unusual power. This is the night we should have complete faith in the power of Allah to change things…
To change our destinies to the better…
To change our flaws and fate and behavior…
We ask Him to accept us, forgive us and love us…

 

And yet every year, even when we try to get so close to Him…
Some of us still feel so far away…

You’ll hear others cry during prayers, and see their blessed tears roll down their faces at the mention of Allah’s name

And then you’ll look yourself up and down, stare at your dry tearless eyes, and shake your head with disappointment

 

You might think you didn’t put enough effort…
You were too distracted or too flawed or just not spiritual or soft….

You’ll look at those who worship Him with reverence and silently start wondering if you’re good enough..
You’ll witness this blessed night and then start telling yourself
‘I tried… I tried so many times, but I don’t feel anything.. I’m not tearing up or getting shivers down my back or even feeling serene…maybe Allah doesn’t want me…”

 

Are you crazy? How can you ever think that?

 

You’re right there at the mosque, in His house!
I mean would you allow anyone to stay at your place against your will?

No one forced Allah to allow you to enter His house…
The mere fact that you’re there, wherever you are, on your knees before your Lord, begging Him to accept you, means He already did!

Allah is the Most Generous….
He will never say ‘Hey, what brought you here!’
No… He will actually bring you closer, like a loving mother warmly embracing her child, and He will say: just “Call upon Me; I will respond to you”

We don’t change suddenly…
We don’t become pious, righteous and have faces glowing with the light of faith at the press of a button.

It’s a build up
Of little random acts of kindness and good deeds…

When you sit alone and think of how Great and Magnificent your Lord is….

When you play with an orphan or feed a poor family…

When you put your family first, and help them out with chores, even when they don’t even notice it…

When you emulate the beloved Prophet (just because he’s so awesome)

When you feed a bird or help a homeless dogs on the street
Or take the time to absorb a verse from the Qur’an or learn a Hadith and get your questions answered…

When you make your parents smile…
Or do things from the heart for Allah’s sake…
When you give good advice
Or volunteer to help others
When you teach a child to be a proud Muslim
Or when you silently praise the beloved Prophet (may peace and blessings be upon him)
When you remember the deceased in your prayers, even though they’re not here to thank you…
Or when you’re grateful for Allah’s simplest blessings…

 

When you give compliments to gladden people’s hearts…
Or when you spend from what you love the most…

 

When you forgive others for His sake…
Or when you forgive yourself and promise to start anew…

 

When you visit your grandparents and listen to their repetitive stories…
Or when you make a du’aa for someone you don’t like, in an attempt to please your Lord…

 

When you take time out of your day to read a post like this one, hoping it might bring you even an inch closer to Allah…
Or when you realize that I just listed all the acts of kindness we did this Ramadan and keep it to yourself instead of yell out “You’re SO BUSTED!’ looool

 

So be patient with your Lord…
Be patient in worshipping Him….

The change doesn’t happen suddenly…

The tears don’t flow abruptly…

The goodness doesn’t come unnaturally…

It’s the outcome of building a relationship with Allah throughout the years…

So if you don’t feel anything tonight, it’s okay…
Keep investing, keep trying, and keep coming….
You’re still on the same path with all the other people you look up to…

Some are walking
Some are jogging
And some are running with amazing speed

But in the end they’re all on the same journey, heading towards the same destination…
Pleasing Allah

 

If tonight is Laylat Al Qadr, then smile and open your heart to the love, peace and angels surrounding you….

Just talk to Allah they way you’d talk to a close friend…
And don’t doubt it even for a second…
Because you are more than enough…
You’re accepted and sheltered in His mercy and care…

So tell Him all your secrets tonight…
Ask for everything you wish for…

And don’t forget to remember me and my family in your duaa please (maybe you’ll be the reason we do cartwheels in Jannah too)

 

May Allah bless you all
And since you’ll be supplicating to the Most Compassionate and Most Generous

May the most you ask for
be the least you get….
All my love,

 

Lilly S. Mohsen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 26: 30 Good Deeds In Ramadan

DAY TWENTY-SIX: Help Her Out

 

You don’t know how much gets done until someone doesn’t do it.

 

Like when you throw your sweatpants on the floor, you’re not aware of the logistics involved to make them magically end up in your closet, washed and folded.

 

Your food is ‘shopped’, washed, peeled, cut, shredded, diced, fried, baked, cooked, and served hot, delicious and right on time.

 

Bills are paid.
Broken things are suddenly fixed (including hems!)

Bathrooms and windows are cleaned.
Lunch boxes are packed.

Oh the list goes on….

And usually the superhero behind all the action is the woman of the house, a.k.a not just ‘Mom’ but ‘Mom, mom, mommmmmmmm, mommy, mom, mommmmm’

 

Now don’t get me wrong…

Oh my God we love unloading the dishwasher 20 times a day coz you guys do it all wrong. It’s one of life’s special treats.

 

And it’s hilariously fun to vacuum and mop for hours, only to have you all stomp in with your dirty shoes. It’s like the highlight of our day, we relive it in our heads all night and smile with satisfaction loool.

 

And spending 95% of our time putting things back where they belong, ohhhh that’s just icing on the cake! It’s not tedious it’s actually the meaning of joy.

 

Of course dads help out too. They take out the trash twice a year. And you know, we beg them not to. We grab onto the trash bags and plead with them not to steal this happy job away from us, but they just won’t listen loool

 

Don’t even ask about ironing, folding, clearing away the dinner table, sweeping and cleaning inside the microwave every time someone uses it, because we both know it’s just another day in paradise!

 

And yes, before I forget, can you guys please ask us to run more errands? Pretty please with a cherry on top!

It’s the best feeling ever to drop every thing you’re doing, no matter how urgent it is, just to drive your teen daughter across the city because she ‘forgot’ her cellphone with her friend.

 

Oops, that’s my alert. I’ve reached my allowed sarcasm limit for the day loool.

 

Beginners Level:

 

This is mostly for teens:
Guys seriously, help out!

Helping your parents in the house (and by that I mean your moms loool) is a neglected Sunnah, don’t you think?

The Prophet himself (may peace and blessings be upon him) kept himself busy serving his family. He milked his goats, patched up and sewed garments and mended his own sandals.

And he taught us, “The best of you is the one who is best to his family” (Tirmidhi)

 

And you know he was busy spreading the word of Allah, with a mission that would last till the end of time, not busy with ‘which-snap-chat-filter-looks-better-on-me-today’

 

Okay that was uncalled for.

 

All I’m trying to say is out of all the days in the year, this is the best time to help with chores around the house. Help you parents, your siblings and help the help if you have any.

They’re definitely exhausted by now.

You’ll be reaping a lot of good rewards if you show them some kindness.

And hey, I’m sure you guys look great with any filter : )

 

Advanced Level:

 

This is strictly for parents.
I know you love your kids and they’re fasting and stuff, but if you really love them, you’ll give them chores and responsibilities.
It’s not your job to prepare life for them
It’s your job to prepare them for life and all its tough blows.

Let them share the housework.

Let them feel the value of time and effort.

Let them learn to appreciate the little things and build their self confidence.

It’s really the best act of kindness you can do…. Raise them right in a world where ‘wrong’ is synonymous with ‘normal’

 

Good luck (we all need it)

 

Ramadan Kareem everyone

See you tomorrow inshAllah

 

Lilly S. Mohsen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 25: 30 Good Deeds In Ramadan

 

DAY TWENTY-FIVE: Let It Out Of The Nest!

Not sure where I’m getting this feeling from, but I have this weird hunch you have a confession to make…
Like you’ve been hallucinating about ‘Barbie Dolls’ and ‘Remote Controlled Cars’.
The dolls are cutting their hair (worst nightmare EVER) and screaming at you, while the cars try to run you over.
And then you see yourself covered in multicolored Lego pieces, gasping for air, trying to explain why you’ve kept all those unused toys at home when they could have made so many poor kids ecstatically happy.
You try to justify but no words come out….

 

Okay fine, maybe that’s my ‘very-specific’ terror. But I’m sure you guys can relate to similar nightmares, no?
So in the name of sound sleep, I present to you this day’s act of goodness.

 

All Levels:

 

Even if you don’t have any extra toys to give, you’ll certainly find a lot of items lying around in the house with no goal in life other than taking up much needed space.

 

Need a hint?

 

Those washed jeans from the 80s you know you’ll never wear but, for some mysterious reason, you’re just not ready to part with.
Those outdated antique cell phones? The chargers, gadgets and wires so old you don’t even know what they’re used for anymore?
The books you swear you’ll re-read even though it’s been five years since you’ve actually had time to read a whole book.
Those stuffed animals you cuddled with in 6^th Grade! (Seriously? Loool)

 

Someone out there is wishing for the things you don’t use.
Do your yearly nesting now. Give them away and save your souls before the nightmares come creeping in at night and you’re scarred for life loool.

 

Not sure who to give them to?

Well here are some ideas:

 

United Kingdom: http://www.islamic-relief.org.uk/what-happens-to-the-clothes-you-donate/
India: http://irusa.org/india/

 

Singapore: https://www.pergas.org.sg/donate.html

 

USA: http://irusa.org/
https://www.iazf.org/

 

Canada: https://www.charityintelligence.ca/charity-details/501-islamic-relief-canada

 

Egypt: http://resala.org/

 

South Africa: http://www.islamic-relief.org.za/?gclid=CjwKEAjw7J3KBRCxv93Q3KSukXQSJADzFzVSWxrAn2fsoE8hx9_4EbYu3SS4kmwkJN8Ncfwo2434khoC9aLw_wcB

 

China: http://irusa.org/china/

 

Worldwide: http://www.islamic-relief.org/category/appeals/emergencies/syria-crisis-appeal/

 

 

Or you can contact your local mosque. They’ll probably help you out with all the resources and information you need.

 

May you always be a reason to put a smile on some else’s face…
Ramadan Kareem everyone

All my love,

 

Lilly S. Mohsen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 24: 30 Good Deeds In Ramadan

 

DAY TWENTY-FOUR: Let’s Open Old Wounds, Shall We?

 

This might seem random (and a bit nosy) but I gotta ask…
Who’s that one person who has hurt you the most….?

Who has caused you unimaginable heartache and pain?

Has hurt you so much that you started to hate yourself..
To the point that if they knew how horrible you felt inside, they’d never be able to look you in the eyes again…?

It’s ironic, but I’m pretty sure that same person was once very near and dear to your heart.
Maybe an ex best friend?

A family member?

A man you once loved more than words could say?

A woman who proved monsters were real..?

 

And it doesn’t end there..
Because not only did they hurt you beyond repair; they’ve also changed you..
into someone you don’t recognize…
into a person who doesn’t believe in love anymore
into a woman who has to spend the rest of her life wondering why she wasn’t good enough
into a sister who can’t trust her own siblings or friends or even her own parents
into a man who runs away from affection
Or pretends to be whole when he’s all broken inside..

 

They didn’t just give you immense pain..
They took a precious part away
A part you’ll spend the rest of your life looking for…
And when you do find it…
You’ll suddenly be too scared
and too scarred to touch it
The people who hurt us steal something on their way out of our lives..
Our innocence…
Our security…
And our hopes..

 

Oh come on people.
I just poked and prodded at some really deep old wounds. What more do I have to do to stir up a whole commotion?
I mean I don’t see fumes coming out of your ears or fire coming out of your mouths or even the classic jaw clenching?

Where did I go wrong? loool

Seriously..
You can tell me…
Has the anger settled into ashes of sadness and disappointed..?
Are you pretending like you don’t care when deep inside you really do?

Or have you given up completely?

Are you waiting for karma to take its course of absolute revenge?

 

It’s not that I can read your mind loool.
It’s just that I feel you..
Because I’ve been hurt before too
By those I loved and trusted the most..
But as I’ve grown older and more mature I’ve come to realize….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s so hard to see the good in people who have LITERALLY MADE YOUR LIFE MISERABLE!
Ohhhh that felt good
Okay, rant time’s over
Ready for some good deeds? Loool

 

Beginners Level:

Not sure how ‘beginner’ this one’s gonna be because in reality it’s a really difficult task.
Your act of kindness for the day is to make du’aa for someone who has hurt you badly or someone you don’t really like.

Yes, you heard that right.

And no, no negotiation

And yes, you have to forgive them before making du’aa for them

And no, it’s not an impossible task

Listen to this…
 “…and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.”

This verse came down to compel Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) to forgive…
Forgive who exactly?

The man who slandered his daughter Aisha

His daughter who?! AISHA!

Who is Aisha again? The Prophet’s wife!

The mother of all believers!!

He said horrible things about her that weren’t even true
And not only that! Mustah Ibn Athatha, the man who gossiped about Aisha, was Abu Bakr’s cousin
A very poor cousin
and Abu Bakr financially support him
And Allah asked him to forgive and go back to spending money on him like nothing happened!

Guys, seriously,

I don’t feel like you’re getting how huge this is!
Someone speaks about my daughter and the first thing I’ll start planning is how to take out all his organs and bury each body part in a different country!!

But now Allah doesn’t like that, you know why?
Because the bitterness will eat us alive

The ‘hate’ is such a huge burden to carry.. It’s poisonous and exhausting..
And it blinds us from seeing the goodness in ourselves and other people.

 

So if you want Allah to forgive you, do yourself a favor and forgive those who have hurt you…
You loved them once…
I’m sure you loved them for a reason…
Besides, maybe they’re hurting ten times over
And maybe your du’aa tonight will take both your pains away..
Advanced Level?

Just getting this one done from the heart deserves a medal!
I wouldn’t ask for more…
I’ll just sit here and admire your strength from far
and ask Allah to give us this kindness, purity and nobility…
And to fill our lives with so much joy and love that we don’t even notice the pain anymore

Say Amen : )

 

Ramadan Kareem everyone

 

Lilly S. Mohsen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 23: 30 Good Deeds In Ramadan

 

DAY TWENTY-THREE: The Best Parents Are Promoted To Grandparents.

For some of us, grandparents are like the fun version of parents, without the whole ‘if you live under my roof you gotta follow my rules’ kind of thing.
They’re the ones who spoil and pamper you.
And they totally believed you when you pretended to be sick just to skip school.
They’re the ones who, if they hear you haven’t had lunch yet, will bring out food enough to feed a whole village.
Three times a day.
For five years.
And there will still be leftovers looool

 

 

Besides, kids know grandparents are awesome, mainly because their own parents can’t go over their word, so they’ll abuse the system without an ounce of guilt. I remember one time I was very stern about depriving my daughter of her favorite things during her time out. By mid day she was like “Okay THAT’S IT! I’m calling Granma!”

I don’t know what your relationship with your grandparents is like.
If they’re still alive or have passed away.
If you’re estranged or living in the same building.
If you talk every day or once a year
I only know one thing…
Those who have managed to stay close to their grandparents, have found the key to better health, wealth and joy…
Listen to this

Anas reported the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) as saying :
“Anyone who is pleased that his sustenance is expanded and his age extended should do kindness to his near relatives.” (Sahih)
Today’s act of kindness is towards those who have raised the people who’ve raised you.
The wise gems whose memory you’ll never forget…
Your grandparents…

 

Beginners Level:

Don’t be a tagalong.
Take the initiative to call your grandparents just to ask about them and show them you care.
What’s wrong?

You have nothing to say?
They’ll keep you on the phone for hours?

They’re awkward? Short Tempered? Tell the same story over and over again?
They tease you in front of the whole family about the time when you were still a toddler and ran outside with no diapers?

Whatever it is, they deserve your love and care. They deserve the courtesy of being highly regarded and appreciated.

Hey, hey… don’t make a face!
I’m serious.
This isn’t textbook talk or playback lecturing

Listen to this:

Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “He is not of us who does not have mercy on young children, nor honor the elderly” (Al- Tirmidhi)

And you’re one of us….
We’re on the same team. So go call your grandparents
NOW!
(Sorry that came out louder than I intended looool)

Advanced Level:

You know the drill
We go a step higher, which means instead of calling you should go visit.
Alone!
Let them know you mean it and give them some quality time
Because amidst the repetitive stories, there’s a lot of wisdom and treasures of life long experiences. There’s laughter and jokes and nostalgic beautiful memories…
Amidst the awkwardness, there’s lots of duas from the heart and warm hugs…
And amidst the age gaps, there are showers of blessings pouring down on you because of your pure intention to please Allah…

And don’t forget the food.
Ahhhhhh the food looool

 

Ramadan Kareem
Are you guys as tired as I am?
I need the ‘hang in there’ motivational speech loool
Anyways, see you tomorrow inshAllah (I hope!)

 

Lilly S. Mohsen
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 22: 30 Good Deeds In Ramadan

DAY TWENTY-TWO: It’s What You Love The Most

 

Here’s a random conversation with one of them ‘cool’ teenagers
“So what’s your plan for being successful?”
“Become famous”
“Famous for doing what?”
“I dunno”  

 

To be fair, probably most of us have shared this ‘becoming-a-success-story’ dream at some point in our lives. We probably hunted down any ‘easy’ tips or ‘fast-track’ tools that could get us a step closer to realizing our goal. I remember I was only 10 when I asked my mom,

“So what’s the BEST thing I can do to be the BEST?”
“Spend from what you love the most”
“Huh?”

 

I SO didn’t see that one coming. I thought she’d use this opportunity to guilt me into keeping my stuff organized or to make me quit teasing my siblings. But no, she quoted this verse:

“Never will you attain the good [reward] until you spend [in the way of Allah] from that which you love. And whatever you spend – indeed, Allah is Knowing of it.” (Holy Qur’an, 3:92)

Of course at that time, ‘that which I loved’ was chocolate.
(Still is, but you know). And I remember kicking myself, like WHY? Why did I have to ask? looool

Your turn.
What is it that you love the most?
It should be something other than money, because hello, money is a given in most scenarios, since it’s what we use to buy the things we love.

Is it food? (Probably an automatic answer by those of us still fasting loool)
Flowers? Cars? Perfume? Books? Puppies?
That expensive watch or laptop or Play Station ‘number OMG-newly-released-yet-exactly-the-same-as-the-one-before-it?’
That family-heirloom Meringue Pie recipe you keep in a fireproof vault?
That beautiful pearl necklace that goes with everything you wear?

See? It’s not so easy.
And that’s why it’s the biggest test of faith, because putting Allah first is the surest path to goodness and success in both this world and the Hereafter

When Abu Talha (one of the Ansari companions) heard the above verse, he gave up his ‘Bairuha’ Garden to charity, which everyone knew and he also admitted was the most beloved garden to his heart. (Bukhari)

When Prophet Solomon sensed his beloved horses were distracting him from worship, he got rid of them all. And they were a vision! They were gorgeous, purebred, Arabian horses if you’d like to know.

Prophet Abraham was willing to give up what he loves the most for the sake of Allah… When asked, he was willing to sacrifice his only beloved child Ismail…

 

If you had to…
And if the One who holds your life in His hands wills it, would you give up your desires, dreams, wealth, pleasures or loved ones…?

Would you sacrifice your Ismail…?

 

Your Merciful Lord did not ask you to do all of that. He doesn’t want to break your heart, He just wants to make you stronger.
He wants to empower you instead of letting you get desperately attached to material things.
And He never asked you to give up everything you love. Just a small portion of it.
Would you do that for His sake?
Beginners Level:

Ho-ho don’t start down playing or suddenly rearranging the list of ‘your most beloved things’ now. There’s something you own and cherish so much you’d rather not give it up, and that’s exactly what you need to share and spend from. No cheating loool
It could even be your time!
Advanced Level:

Use the ‘Ripple Effect’ theory, because 28 years later, I’m pretty sure, since it was my mom who taught me it, she’s getting double the rewards for every time I spend from what I love (You’re welcome mommy, any time! Just please don’t pretend like you don’t know me when you reach the highest levels of Paradise loool. InshAllah)
Guys, be smart! Teach this to as many people as possible. Instill it in your kids. When you get them Eid presents, get an extra one (just as good), and then ask them to pick one to give away for charity.
The sound of their brains going 100 miles an hour and their obvious predicament will break your heart.
But it will also make you super proud.
Muslims don’t just give away their left overs or ugly, unkempt belongings and call it a day!

We are people who love for our brothers and sisters what we love for ourselves.
Even if it feels like you’re giving a piece of your heart away when you share your last KitKat.
(Or anything you love for that matter)
It’ll open your heart…
It’ll teach you what ‘true love’ really means…
And it will be the BEST thing that ever happened to you…
Simply the best…

Lilly S. Mohsen